what I regret

The one thing I would have changed in my past was how I reacted to a softball. When I first started softball I was taught many things and one of them was when I am up to bat if a ball is coming at me, I need to move. I follow this rule for a long time and it kept me from ever getting hurt. During the years I played I became a stronger batter and my asthma began to disappear as I got more strong.All was going well in till I got cocky and began to think I wound never get hurt or mess up when I was up to bat, but I was wrong. My last game of the main season was the first time I broke that rule and I will forever regret it. I was up to bat, but this time I was not doing as good as usual and if I did not get this last hit my team would lose. So I took one for the team and by that I mean I got hit by the ball so that my team could get a walk.At the time I thought I was fine but when I got home I realized I could not walk. I ended up going to the doctors and not being able play the rest to the season. My dream of going anywhere with sports or gymnastics or dance was gone because my knee was shot and any time I put to much pressure on in I was in extreme pain.  If I would have not broken that rule I would be still be play sport and my asthma might be gone so I will always regret that day as long as I live

Family

I have always valued the idea of a close relationship with my family and it may sound cheesy but they are all I have. They have always been here for me, yeah it is expected but I have always felt that they are doing more then they need too. I find my self always surrounded by them and I am most  happy when they are with me. I love the idea that they will always be there even though they do not have to. I think that without them I would not be were I am now and I would be a little lost. I know one day they will not be here with me but I guess that is fine because I need them now, while I am young and I do not know how to live in this world without them.I love my family and that is why the idea of a close relationship with them is important to me.

Summer

Over the summer I did many things, though not all of them were interesting. Most of the things were  repeats of my summers before making this summer no different from the rest. the only thing that made this years before is the fact that my cousins that I had not seen in four years came into town.I was so happy to see them. While they were here we battled it out in games, and we all went to cedar point. Now most of the time I would object to the idea  of going to cedar point because of my fear of roller coasters. When I was little my dad tricked me to go on the magnum, telling me all sorts of lies like "the drop is not big at all", being the naive kid I was I got on and was scared out of my wits. After that day I refused to ride any roller coaster, but this time would be different as far as i was concerned. I was going to get over this stupid fear, so when the day had came for us all to go, I told my family it was time for me to get over my fear, so they suggested we start with the roller coaster that started my fear. i was reluctant, but i went with it anyways. After the ride I had never been so happy, just like I that i was over my fear of roller coasters and I realized it was no different from things like buggy jumping or white water rafting. I have since then gone back to cedar point another three times, rode all the rides except the millennium, and have had one of the best summers just because my cousins decided to visit.

The Mask of Joy

   My name is Jocelyn

but that is nothing but a name.

Its meaning is joyful

When I am full of nothing but pain.

I have had my dreams stolen,

been put to the test.

I have seen the best parts of life,

 been through the worst of it.

Even if I am supposed to be joy Its self.

I have always tried to stay strong ,

looked happy and joyful,

but on the inside I am breaking 

and my mask is cracking from the pain.

I  will try remain Jocelyn,

the girl with a mask of smiles.

but my smile is fading.

My face has become blank.

I have lost the reason to show a stranger a smile.

I would rather not let them see who I am.

Some days I fear that girl in the mirror will disappear, 

that no one will be there to help me rescue her.

But  I know I have a family,

people how love me. 

So that as my mask begins to shatter

and my  joy fades away.

That my family will be by my side

waiting to catch my mask,  

and remind me that I am Jocelyn, 

the joy of their life.

Opinions

Everyone has their own way of living life and has their own set of rules to make sure that stay on that path. To stay on my path I came up with one rule and that is not listen to the opinions of others, they should instead live as they see fit and be themselves. By following this rule I have become the person I am today. I'm that girl that maybe  serious at school, but I am also that girl that laughs at the weirdest things. I have never let people get me down or tell me who I am. Those people who try to tell someone  who they are even though they do not know them, all they know about them is what that person lets them see. I will of course take constructive criticism but only if it comes from someone who cares for my well being, not from someone who does not know who I am. I find that this rule has given me independence and strength that without this rule probably would never have. So knowing that I will always follow this rule.